Children are not equal in terms of opportunities. Most of all in terms of their parents. Many parents want their children to excel, but they may neglect or misunderstand their share.
Some children have an innate tendency to be successful, and some may even be gifted. There are a few people who have achieved unparalleled success in their fields. They are exceptional people. In other words, they are % 1 of % 1 of the most successful people in the world. Examples include innovators like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, athletes like Michael Jordan and Serena Williams, and musicians like Mozart and Beethoven. Or people who do scientific work and win Nobel Prizes that we don't often hear about.
Kumar Mehta, a psychologist, has been researching how to raise gifted children for more than five years. The results are very contrary to popular belief. First of all, he discovers that these children, almost all gifted children, develop special skills at a young age to maximize the physical, mental and social potential available to them. And that their parents are incredible at creating an environment that allows them to thrive. that it has a huge impact. I can't be controlling and have my child be the best.
Based on Mehta's research, here are 7 attitudes that parents of gifted children pay attention to in their children's development:
1- They encourage their children to develop their strengths
At a very, very young age, Norwegian chess prodigy Magnus Carlsen was patiently completing puzzles and Lego constructions that were beyond his years. Carlsen's father thought that these skills could lead to success in chess, and as a result introduced him to the game.
Early on in his chess training, they clearly recognized the intense interest and talent in their son and then encouraged him to progress and started taking him to tournaments.
Every child is born with more advanced skills in some areas than others. Your child may have a talent for abstract and multidimensional thinking or a talent for parts and shapes. Some children are gifted in mathematics and can analyze problems logically or investigate problems scientifically.
Always pay attention to your child's natural talent and help them develop their innate abilities.
2- They set an example for their children with their hard work
Parents of gifted children model this, not by dictating to their children that they must work, but by dedicating years to becoming better at their craft, and they make sure that their children realize this.
In a 2020 interview about his father's work ethic, Microsoft founder Bill Gates said: "He was one of the hardest-working and most respected lawyers in Seattle, and a beloved figure in the neighborhood. He was curious about learning and was always learning new things. "
Gates' father taught his children that they had to work to be respected.
So show your children that hard work pays off, that nothing is simply "given" and that shortcuts will not help them achieve their goals, by practicing it in your own life first.
3- Create a culture of effort and excellence
In 2017, a team of British researchers examined the differences between "elite" and "ultra-elite" athletes. (Of course, all NBA players are elite - but then there's Michael Jordan or LeBron James, or Kobe Bryant, a name that could surpass them all.)
Researchers have found that most ultra-special athletes come from environments that champion a culture of striving. They grew up in homes where the pursuit of excellence and pushing the limits was always expected. They grew up with no pain no gain, or no effort no bread.
Venus and Serena Williams' unparalleled success on the tennis court starts with their father Richard. He wrote a 78-page blueprint for his daughters that was as detailed as an excel spreadsheet, and it seems he played an important role in their rise to the top of the tennis world. Their father set his expectations early; the Venus sisters were not even five years old when he wrote this plan. eventually they became the two winningest champions in tennis history.
4. Support them to develop self-confidence
Helping your child gain self-confidence can make a big difference in their lives. Encouraging them to dream big will prevent them from giving up when things don't go their way.
Even as children, today's gifted adults have always believed that extraordinary achievements were within their reach and not just the privilege of those they saw on TV or read about in the news.
When parents support their children's self-confidence, that is, when they do not criticize their children and do not humiliate them when they fail, they are more likely to adopt a belief that their children will perform at the highest level and eventually come out on top.
This kind of self-confidence - or the unwavering belief that you can be the best - is the key to achieving success.
5. They are patient when their children ask questions
Parents of gifted adults always make it a priority for their children to learn new things. And because they encourage their children to be curious, the thing they take most seriously is patiently answering their children's questions.
In almost all interviews with Nobel Prize-winning scientists, they say that even much later in life, they always try to answer the questions their parents patiently asked them.
What these parents also have in common is that they teach their children how to find the answers and often look for them together.
In other words, dear parents, I want my child to excel, but it doesn't work together.
6. They encourage the child to specialize in a field
To help them become well-rounded, parents direct them to many different areas (e.g. swimming, piano, math club, chess). Parents of gifted children often choose the specialist approach where their child develops/excells in one area.
Adopting an "expert" approach in line with the child's ability and encouraging their children to specialize in an activity in which they show high potential also increases the child's chances of success.
Specializing in one area does not mean that your child has to give up doing other things. Perhaps he or she may choose to pursue other activities for fun or even to develop additional skills. The specialist approach means that the child chooses the activity in which he or she is determined to make the effort to be as good as possible and develop in that area.
According to parents of gifted children, the earlier they encourage their children to learn the basics of an area, the sooner they will develop more advanced skills in that area. And the sooner they develop these advanced skills, the sooner they will become the best in that field. The sooner their children acquire this, they reasoned, the more likely they are to reach a rare and special level of proficiency.
7. They encourage competition and development
Many of the high achievers analyzed and interviewed in this study grew up in an environment of constant competition. From an early age, their parents gamified competition in simple games and small activities. Being able to compete even to tidy their rooms the fastest seems to have exposed them to the stress and pressure needed to win and succeed later on.
However, the same parents say that they teach their children that they should not only value competition and results, that being special goes beyond the scores and achievements.
If you focus only on your child's results and do not support their self-confidence, their chances of success will be lower.
As you can see, it is not enough for a child to be gifted; as in all cases, the attitude of the parents is also important. I hope you will benefit from this information in supporting and developing your child's talents.
